Que Sera Sera

5 days left and I’m off to Europe for an indefinite amount of time. I’m currently in Brooklyn, New York for the week. Last week I was in Oakland and stayed with the now ex-boyfriend. You see, we agreed to split when I left because, well… it’s the adult thing to do. To experience life on my own, without having to think about another person. We were together for over a year but have been friends for over 11 years. He’s one of my best friends, and will continue to be.

I’m heartbroken and I feel completely alone. I honestly thought about not going at all, not that I have anywhere to go now. I woke up yesterday just wanting a hug and a familiar face. I thought I would be tougher and be able to cope a bit better. I thought I wouldn’t be effected so much, but reality is setting in. It’s hard when the last thing you see before your flight to be on your own, is the look in your lovers eyes and not knowing when you will see or touch them again. So yesterday I took that pain and walked about 5 miles. From my temporary home in Brooklyn, over the Brooklyn Bridge and into Manhattan to an ice cream shop I’ve been dying to go to for months called Taiyaki. It was $7, but it was worth the unique experience and effort to get there.

It’s snowing outside today and I decided to stay in. I had made plans originally to go on a few free tours and see some free sights, but my back is aching and bed seems so much cozier. I threw out my back the day before I left Oakland and had to see a last minute Chiropractor. I’m still in pain, and have made an appointment with another one out here in New York. So hopefully I’ll be much better before I leave on Wednesday.

You never know what will happen in life and how you may cope. I’m just hoping I start feeling better soon. Physically and emotionally.