I’ll Fly Away

One week and 4 days in Prague. I am feeling underwhelmed. I have met some great people and have gone out until the sun has come up. But there is something missing…

I am working hard on my certification to be an ESL teacher, and the time and energy that’s being put into it is insane. I’m in school 10 hours out of the day working, taking lessons, observing other teachers and learning Czech. I spend a significant amount of energy and time on working on lesson plans outside of school, and my only semi free time is on the weekends. But even the weekends are consumed with essays and future work on my mind.

I’m at the point where I’m not sure where to go from here. I have a lot of friends and good people on my side to get great jobs here and help me be successful here. However, I don’t know if I want to stay. There is no attachment. The point of coming here is to learn a skill and travel, not relocate for another job. There’s no point in being alone and “discovering myself” if I’m stuck working all the time. There is no learning experience.

I’m now looking for what to do next. Do I stay and teach? Do I move on and work elsewhere in the world? Do I volunteer around Europe or elsewhere doing different things? The world is my oyster… but what to do? What to do?


Mluvíte anglicky?

I made it to Prague. Yay!

I left New York on an 8 1/2 hour flight to Moscow, Russia with a short layover, and then from Moscow to Prague on a 2 1/2 hour flight. I am so happy I spent a week in New York to adjust to that time change before heading to Europe. I used Aeroflot Russia which, by the way, was an amazing airline. Friendly staff, lots of food and wine; they even gave me a small pillow, blanket, slippers and an eye cover to sleep.

So I got in on Thursday afternoon then showered and slept. And what happens Friday morning when I wake up? My phone dies. It’s deaaaaad. I lost all contacts, pictures and information. All of it. I mostly freaked out because I’m in a place where I don’t know the language or area and was heavily relying on Google Maps. I was ugly crying for a few hours, but it’s not so bad though. Luckily I’ve managed to make some friends in the short amount of time I’ve been here and the transit system is pretty simple. Writing everything down and having my home address on hand helps a lot too.

So my key to being successful so far here and surviving… joining expat groups and Prague local groups on the book of face, and having an open mind. I’ve only been here 2 1/2 days, but managed to find the furthest T-mobile store with a classmate, grocery shop, get lost in beautiful Old Town, make a handful of new friends from all over the world, drink Czech beer, go dancing, eat at a food truck festival, see the Charles Bridge and eat yummy dessert.

The people I have met have been amazing ❤ and wonderful and nice and helpful. I wish I could share pictures, but… dead phone. Also, I’m too lazy to bring my large camera around with me. 😛

P.S. If you plan on being in Prague, outside of the tourist areas… learn some basic Czech. It helps.

New York/Broken Hearts

New York is AMAZING and I didn’t expect to love it so much. I have been here before, but not alone and not for a week.

I spent my first day walking, and walking and walking. I was feeling down and burnt out, but it was a beautiful day out and I know I needed to leave the house. So I got up and walked from Brooklyn, all the way into lower Manhattan. I crossed the Brooklyn Bridge and got ice cream.

The second day, again I was feeling down and broken hearted. I stayed in bed until 6pm, not wanting to talk or see anyone. When I finally got out of the house, I managed to make my way to a bar called The Wilky. The food was sub par, but they had my favorite beer on tap! I ended up staying there for a few hours where I managed to have a nice conversation with the bartender who bought me a shot of Malort. If you don’t know what Malort is, apparently it’s a Chicago thing. I then met a guy and his lady friend who kept insisting on going to dinner and having me tag along. So we went to a fancy ass French place and shared a bowl of beef bourguignon. Soon after we headed to a hip hop, old school bar with dancing. I really have never seen such a mix of people in any one place. But… I guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised, New York is the melting pot. We also met some ladies from London who came all the way here just to shop for clothes. I didn’t get home until 3:30am.

The 3rd day in which was Saturday, I had to meet with a Chiropractor to get my back adjusted again. Luckily he was in in the same neighborhood. However, what I didn’t expect was that he ran his office out of his house, in the basement. Normally, I would not have placed myself in such a position to be in some strangers basement, but my chiropractor in Oakland knew him and strongly recommended him. And it worked out! He fixed me for the most part, was insanely nice and gave me a discount after I told him my travelling stories. Afterwards I got dinner and headed to Manhattan to go to Battery Park and ride the Seaglass Carousel. I have a friend (Nicole) in the upper west side so I went and visited her right after. On the way, I managed to see the new Fearless Girl Statue that is right next to the Charging Bull. Once I got into upper Manhattan, I checked out a few local bars and then later we all ended up at an awesome Jazz club called Smoke. We stayed there until 4am. The music was great, the drinks were good and the staff was nice. I felt so naughty being able to order a martini at 3:30 in the morning. Once the music ended we headed to a really shitty diner called 3 Star Diner. Don’t go there… you’ll shit for days. And finally we ended our night by checking out the St. Regis. By the time we got back to my friends house it was nearly 8am and we got to see the Sunday morning sunrise.

By Sunday afternoon, we got up and got bagels and headed to Columbia University to tour the campus. Nicole and I took pictures of all the great statues and had coffee. We later went into Harlem to check out what it’s all about. I was very sad to see how gentrified it was. Apparently it’s not all like that. We only went to the west side and didn’t go too far into the neighborhood. We did get a chance to stop into Paris Blues and saw a jazz band. The saxphone player made it obvious that he didn’t want anyone sitting down as they played. He uncomfortably came up to each person sitting at the bar, stared at them and played a little solo til we started tapping our feet and swayed our bodies a little.

Monday, Nicole and I made it out of the house early finally. We went and spent the day at the Met. There was so much amazing artwork and exhibits and you certainly CAN NOT see it in one day. The coolest part about visiting is that the price is a suggested $25, but is actually pay what you can. So if you’re looking into saving money, this is a way to do it and see some history and art. Afterwards we headed to dinner at Serendipity 3 for foods and frozen hot chocolate. Yum.

So it’s Tuesday now, and my last night here. There was supposed to be a giant blizzard today, but honestly it was not as bad as they made it out to be. But, I was still stuck at home. My Airbnb roommate and I went out to dinner and drinks down the street to one of a few places that are open a bit ago and now I’m in bed.

I’m a little scared for tomorrows flight. I have a lot of sorrow in my heart. I’m just wanting to get better all around. I miss my daughter very much. I am brokenhearted from my relationship. I’m stressed about money and my future. I’m leaving everything behind.

After being here for a week, all I want is for my heart to be mended. New York has given me a little hope to what I am capable of handling.

Que Sera Sera

5 days left and I’m off to Europe for an indefinite amount of time. I’m currently in Brooklyn, New York for the week. Last week I was in Oakland and stayed with the now ex-boyfriend. You see, we agreed to split when I left because, well… it’s the adult thing to do. To experience life on my own, without having to think about another person. We were together for over a year but have been friends for over 11 years. He’s one of my best friends, and will continue to be.

I’m heartbroken and I feel completely alone. I honestly thought about not going at all, not that I have anywhere to go now. I woke up yesterday just wanting a hug and a familiar face. I thought I would be tougher and be able to cope a bit better. I thought I wouldn’t be effected so much, but reality is setting in. It’s hard when the last thing you see before your flight to be on your own, is the look in your lovers eyes and not knowing when you will see or touch them again. So yesterday I took that pain and walked about 5 miles. From my temporary home in Brooklyn, over the Brooklyn Bridge and into Manhattan to an ice cream shop I’ve been dying to go to for months called Taiyaki. It was $7, but it was worth the unique experience and effort to get there.

It’s snowing outside today and I decided to stay in. I had made plans originally to go on a few free tours and see some free sights, but my back is aching and bed seems so much cozier. I threw out my back the day before I left Oakland and had to see a last minute Chiropractor. I’m still in pain, and have made an appointment with another one out here in New York. So hopefully I’ll be much better before I leave on Wednesday.

You never know what will happen in life and how you may cope. I’m just hoping I start feeling better soon. Physically and emotionally.